HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAYLOR SWIFT

Dear Taylor,

As you OBVIOUSLY know, your birthday is today! The 13th of December. God. You're 22! How does it feel to be an age older? :p

Just so you know, you are beautiful. And you always will be. Even once you're like 80 or something, you're still going to be the beauty in my eyes. :)

Your songs are amazing, the lyrics are so poetic and beautiful and all in all, I love everything! And I love you! You have brought me up to my feet so many times. Your songs and your voice and your face and your smile have lifted me off my feet countless times. You're the only girl in the industry (ONE of the only girls) that dont give in to fame or money or what have you..

You're beautiful, you're caring, you're sweet, you're kind, you're talented, you're amazing, you're everything to me. :) And I hope one day, if im lucky enough, I'll get to meet you in person! And.. maybe, get a collab with you. <3 That'll make my life complete.

Once again, Happy Birthday, Taylor! God bless your beautiful soul and remember, I will always respect and adore and love you till the day my heart stops beating.

Because you are Taylor Swift. And I love that.

<3

Update From My Slacking

Yes, I have been slacking off.



Again.

Shut up. :(


Hahaaha. Anyways. Shit has been hard lately :p Especially now that I have found out new information. And it sucks because. People always assume shit.

She says I'm angry at her? I'm like, half in grief BECAUSE of her. I mean. There is alot of drama going around and honestly, I need that friend that helps me instead of adds more shit, y'know?

Sigh. Sometimes doing the right thing is shit hard. :\


Not kidding. I'm like, so... what's that word? hmm.. So... Intimidated. Yeah. Roughly.


I'm like, intimidated because I don't even know how to approach her. Seriously. I mean, what if suddenly she just blaintly goes out and ignore me? Wouldn't that be a bummer.


el oh el. But seriously.


Sigh. I need a therapist. A REAL one. :\

Sadnesssssssssssssssssssssss.


Moving on,

I'm such a stalker :p No kidding.

I like, stalk everyone. I'm like a hawk. I fly way up high so that no one can see me, and I totally look down on the other animals mating and finding food and pissing and shit ;p

Facebook is my sky. And the my friends on facebook... are the animals. >:D HAHAHAHOHOHOHEHEHEHE.

Sorry. Have been hyper lately. :|


But seriously.


I should stop saying that.

Anyway. What else have been going on with me?

Oh yeah! Now I'm like, so convinced on moving. Seriously. I wanna move soooo badly! But it kills me to have to leave my friends. At least, some of my friends. And what more, I don't wanna be the new kid!! Like, ughh. But hey, it's a new year so there'll be other new kids besides me, right? :p And besides, I'm like, Grade 8 already.

I need to buff up.

And it'll probably be for the best. But the thing is, I think this school is like, focused on Malay. And that's bullshit. Cause English is my second language! My first is, of course, sarcasm. :)

Sighness. So hard to find shit these days. Hehehehohohohhahaha.


Anyway.

Um. I made a commitment. And I know judging from what my commitment is, y'all are gonna roll around on the floor disbelievingly laughing at my statement.

But..

I'm not gonna date..

Until I'm 16.


OR. OR. OR. OR. WAIT FOR IT. ORRR...

Until I find a person that'll treat me as an equal. :)

I have to resist temptation. ;) Coughcough.

Even if Lotus or Apple or June comes and asks me. No kidding. I'll say no.


Well actually, if it's Lotus then yeah :p Lotus is the ONLY exception. I'm not gonna say that I like her that much. I'm just gonna say like, she's REALLY hot. Hahahaha. :)

So yeah.

That's my commitment. I'll stick to it. Promise. Hopefully. Maybe. Half-half. Shut up.


:)

So yeah. That's it.


I'll write more soon. :p


BYEZEHS <3 LOVES Y'ALL THOUGH Y'ALL DONT EVEN KNOW MEY




-Kyle ;) Scratch that.
-Kye :p

The World God Only Knows

HOLY FIDDLESTICKS.

I FELL IN LOVE.


AGAIN.



WITH A BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL...


anime. ;)


TEEHEE. I HIGHLY recommend comedy-fanatics of animes to watch The World God Only Knows, especially if that comedy is mixed in with romance ;) Oh Gosh, this comedy makes me laugh ALL the time. It never fails to lighten my mood. plus, it's romance. And omg. It's not yuri!

It should be good. Considering I do NOT watch ANY anime that has no yuri in it. So imagine this, I am in love with an anime that has no yuri... it should be worth watching, right? :p

Keima Katsuragi, a second-year high school student, is an avid dating-sim game player. He is known on the Internet as "The God of Conquests" for his legendary skills to be able to "conquer" any animated girl in games. However, in his actual school life, Keima is known as otamegane , a derogatory portmanteau of the two words otaku and megane ("glasses"), and is considered nothing but an intelligent yet gloomy geek with glasses.

At the start of the series, Keima receives an e-mail offering him a contract to "conquer" girls. When he accepts it, thinking it is an invitation to a game, a demon from Hell named Elsie appears. She asks for his cooperation to help her in catching runaway spirits ("Loose Souls"). These spirits hide themselves inside the hearts of girls, and Elsie suggests that the only method to force the spirits out is by "conquering" the girls hearts, making them fall in love with him and filling up the gaps which the runaway spirits hide in. Interested only in animated-game girls, however, Keima is appalled by the idea, and refuses the assignment as he has no romantic real life experiences whatsoever. Nevertheless, with the contract already agreed, Keima has no choice but to help Elsie no matter what, as they will be beheaded if they fail.

It is a great anime! And I suggest y'all to watch it even if you're not into Anime ;) You never know.

Plus,

It has hot girls.

Not sure about the guys though :D

Here are some screenshots of the series of some parts that I like and some mere random parts. Don't worry. There's much more than this. ;p

Yeah. It's a great anime! :) In all the straight animes I've seen, this has gotta be one of the best! I'm obsessed with it. And I cannot wait till' the third season comes up!

Rating: 9/10
Plot: 8/10
Romance: 9/10
Comedy: 10/10
Drama: 5/10
Cuteness(?): 7/10
Hot Girls: 10/10

Total: 89%//


Woot woot! :D


SO WE HAVE A CLEAR TOP ANIME. AND SO IMMA GO WATCH IT AGAIN. BYE NOW! <3


-Kyle

Will = Love

Nagi snarled. "Damn you! Damn you, weakling! You can't even stand up for yourself! What makes you think that you can stand up for me?!"

Tomoko Hajimashi raised his hand and pressed his palm against the gravel floor where his blood had already stained. He shook as he tried to stand up, his body weaving left to right in the attempt to balance himself. He raised his head slowly, the right part of his head looking strangely swolen. When his face was revealed, his left eye was suposedly bruised and blood was dripping from his forehead and lip. "B-Because, Hagasaki-San!" He snapped, the sharpness in his voice arising to an unsual pitch. "I don't need strength to protect you! In the world we live in now, we may need strength but in the world we CAN live in, all we need is will. Will to fight. It doesn't matter if we are defeated." He got up slowly, his knee looking as if it was gonna snap to two.

He turned to his left, where a large, large oak tree stood on the path. It looked steady and the bark was firm. So firm that even a chainsaw would take probably 20 minutes to cut through it in full blast. Hajimashi raised his fist shakily. "Because as long as we have will, the lord will give us the power to defeat the obstacles blocking our way." He sharpened his gaze. "Like this tree. It is blocking my way... to you." He took a deep breath.

Then paused.

And with that one quick movement, his fist blew against the tree and just remained bruised on the edge. Nagi stared, astounded at his bravery but annoyed by his stupidity. But suddenly, though none of them expected it except Hajimashi, there was a sickeningly loud crack. It stretched through the area as if thunder. And suddenly, the large, large oak tree, that was stronger than any other obstacle in that area, cracked in half and fell loudly onto the ground by the scrawny, 45kg, smartass gamer that had so promisingly dedicated his soul to the girl in front of him.

And just like that.

Will between two people was created. It was called,

Love.




Aiyaaah. So Sweet one ohhh. :(


TEEHEE





-Kyle

I Wanna Move

Whether it's move school or move town or move country, I don't care.


I just wanna move.

Sigh. This is bullcrap. Reality will not stop coming back to bite me in the ass. Trust me, this is not some 'love crises' mojo. This is serious painful shit. And I don't know who to talk to.

Mum's too busy. And she barely cares. As in, like, she's not the idol I used to look up to anymore. Now, she's too concentrated on work. And honestly, she's kinda neglecting us.

I know it sounds petty and selfish for me to say that of my MUM. But I just want the old her back.

I cannot consult my father. As y'all know, he's not exactly 'therapist' material. Plus, lately, he's also been getting extremely busy.

My siblings aren't here anymore. No sister. No brother.


And I cannot consult any of my friends.

I feel as if I'm falling.

Dropping into nothingness.

I know it sounds way too overdramatic but the walls that had protected me from enemy lines are dropping once more. I may have rebuilt them up more than a million times and they stand strongly but I think that it's time to move destination. Somewhere safer.


I know what you're thinking; "Dude. Even if you move, you'll get harassed. That's life!"

But my parents have been thinking about moving me to another school for awhile now, and since now I firmly agree, I think I should.

There's this school... Rumored- No, It's not a rumor, It's TRUE. Truth be told, there are a GAZILLION people in that school who are just like me.


But I'm afraid. I hate moving to a new school cause I'll be the 'new kid' all over again. I've been the new kid in Primary 5 when I moved to SRS, how will I know I won't be deprived of the same torture in that school?!

But you know what.


Fuck this.

Instead of running away, I'll fucking face this.


I'm gonna be famous soon. VERY soon. And until then, I shouldn't stress about school and shit. Because by next year, I won't even be IN a school. I'll be on stage singing my heart out to people who actually adore me.


Sigh. I know I sound plenty vain and you want to slap me for being so self-centered.


But I swear to god, I just want to change the world.

I've made an oath. And I'm sticking to it.


Forever.




-Kyle

Tell Me You're Joking

Bitch, I ain't got all day and if you plan on treating me like this until you make your decision then screw you. I'm out.


...


That was random. :D LOL. Don't worry. That has nothing to do with me. I was just in the mood to speak gangsta'... okay, now I feel lame. Haha.


Now, moving on. I didn't go to school again. :\ Suckishh ugh.


I got like, a mind-blowing headache. Oh wait. No. No no no. I gots a good brain. xD lolwtf.


Positivity works, but it's killing me. Hahaha. What happened to 'Do good stuff and get good stuff in return?' Does it really like, work? :p Cause. I dont know.


Have I done good stuff? I ain't think so.


Sadness.

I'm still caught up in my fairytale. I just can't bring myself to wake up.


Oh and for the record, just because I'm vain, doesn't mean I'm the only person I care about, it just means I'm not an asskit like other people to be letting myself down when I haven't even proved my best.


That's all... I guess. :)



So. Bye? Haha.



-Kylekylantamm

What. Up.

So, exams are officially over :)


Hey, you know, she's like, so happy with him. I'm not kidding. I read the texts. HEY. I'm only human. I know I promised not to but, I'm glad I did.


I knew they were dating like, a month ago. But after reading their texts, I finally realized how serious they were. I mean, I want a best friend like that. The problem is, the best friend I have now is sooooooo not my type. Both of them. While Mich.. Well, I like, asked her already.


Request Pending.


Sadness.


Yeah... So... I guess, I'm gonna give up on June. Cause. What's the point in having to chase after her when she's already caught by some other guy? They seem happy. They are happy together. So who am I to charge in and take that away? I'm disrupting them. What gives me the right?


So.


Apple.


or.


Lotus.



Lotus is just eye-candy. Yes, another new one. NO. I do not like her. I just think she's super-duper hot... and y'know... Eye-candy. ;)


But the thing is, it feels as if it's January all over again. As if the 9 months that came and go haven't even arrived yet. Apple brings back bad memories and honorable ones. It's amazing how one person... can you feel as if you're young again.


I know it sounds stupid.


And rather, immature. But like,


Come on. I'm 12. Not even 13 yet. Cut me some slack.


I need to be dramatic. If not, my life is over.


HAHA. I'm like, so lame. Hormones. Blame it on the hormones ;)


Anyway. That's it, I guess. Umm... Yeah. Haha.


I hate being single. Reading those texts... It reminded me TOO much of E-- Um... a girl I used to date. I miss her. If we're not together, I at least wanna be her friend. But I'm afraid. God. I miss her so much.




Too much.

Greyson. Chance.

So like, I'm suddenly a fan of Greyson Chance/ Which is scary cause I've never had a MALE celebrity crush before. HAHA. Awkwardddd.





Whuuuuuuut? HAHAHA.


OMFG HE'S COMING TO KOTA KINABALU LIKE, THIS NOVEMBER. FUCKFUCKFUCK I WANNA WATCH HIM >:(


HEHEHE IMMA GET THOSE TICKETS.


EPICNESSSSSSS.


LIKE WHUUUT.

... YEAH OKAY.



BYE!



GREYSON WOOT

Unfriend You

So it's over yeah we're through, so I'm a unfriend you
You're the best liar ever knew, so I'll unfriend you
Cause I should have known, right from the start
I'm deleting you right from my heart
Yeah it's over, my last move is to unfriend you

You come on to everybody
Everybody all the time
You give up to anybody
What I thought was only mine

So it's over yeah we're through, so I'm a unfriend you
You're the best I ever knew, so I'm a unfriend you
'Cause I should have known, right from the start
That you didn't have a human heart
Yeah it's over my last move is to unfriend you
Unfriend you

So, What would make me happier?

A Game of Mafia 2 on my friend's Xbox 360?

Or like,

A fucking break.


... I think the Mafia thing.


I don't know. Nowadays things have been very fucked up for me. But then again, it wasn't as fucked up as last year.

Most Painful Year : 2010

Most Depressing Year : 2011


And they both win by a landslide! God. I wish I can just go back to being a kid. Back then, drama didnt even exist in my vocabulary. I remember either wanting to be a teacher or a horse-riding coach. Either one. I was happy. Satisfied. In Peace.

All of a sudden, time had to catch up.

And now I'm at a race with world's greatest enemy.


My Own Age.


If I stop, I'll just relive my years over and over again and even I don't want that to happen. But If I keep going, I'll be sucked into a world of drama and adulthood and I ain't ready for that!


I wanna stay young.

And stay young forever.


Okay fine, not really.

In my mind, it's better to live life fully then leave with satisfaction.


If you live forever then... what's the point in doing all the adventures? You know you won't die. You know you're not satisfied. You'll just roam the Earth all... sad.



Yeah. I'm weird like that. :\


But get this.


I'm like, so confident in my Exams. Though they're SHIT ASS hard. I'm like, positive that they'll be like... high scores and shit. HAHA. Positivity ;)

Besides', I've been studying! :D

I know. Dramatic Gasp.


OH well :)


Besides that, um, what else have been going on? Haha.

Can't really remember. :p


Nothing much, to be honest. Besides the usual confused feelings onto someone else (Will not mention names) I am fairly neutral.


Yeaaaah. That's basically it. HAHA :)



ONE. MORE. FUCKING. DAY. TILL. FREEDOM.




EXAMS. END ALREADY!



p/s tomorrow's Science. SHIT.


oh well. it's Art too. <3




-Kyle

OH MY

OH. OH. OH. OH.

BABY BABY BABY OHHHHHHHHH. LIKE,

BABY BABY BABY NOOOOOOOOO. LIKE,

BABY BABY BABY OHHHHHHHHH.

I THOUGHT YOU'D ALWAYS BE MINE. MINE.

HI THERE :)

So...

To Shereen,

if you're wondering.

Which I know you are.

It is... DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

APPLE.

Like WHUT

I wasn't really being fair before, was I? Haha. I was being all emo and shit. :)

Now that's not nice to read. My blog's almost always like that. Sigh. Especially my old blog. 70% was sad and emo posts. like wuuut haha.

But whatever of th

at,

Exams are coming. :s I've actually been studying! Believe it or not :p I feel REALLY confident of this. Hahaha. Scarily enough. (: But honestly, I believe in myself ;)

Oh how damn CHEESY that

sounds :D

I am cheesy. Deal with my shit.

The sucky thing is, BOTH my computers at home are gone (They're in repairs) :( That f-cking sucks cause like... I need my computers maaan. I'm using Shereen's computer now but y'know, I can't write stories or like, read my old stories and shit. So it isn't the same. Plus, I got tuition in like 20 minutes.

FACK.

I don't like tuition :(

You can't blame me. Reading a book that has all those boring words is bullshit. Like seriously. Why won't they make studying INTERESTING already?! Like, Idk, make more field trips and studying groups and shit. I don't know!

But yeah. Sighh.

HAH. Moving on :) So about my lovelife, well to be fair I don't really have one. Cause like, I'm 12... and I don't technically 'love' anyone right now besides my family.. :p

So HAHA, yeah. Let's call it relationshiplife or something ;)

I'm still single. Sadly. Haha naww. Not exactly looking for a relationship right now. I mean, it depends on WHO it is.

:\

To be honest, DO NOT CALL ME A WHORE >:I I have my reasons for saying this, but to be honest, I wanna try a relationship without feelings. Like... "friends with benefits"

:p

What? Don't look at me like that! I bet your face is like.. (-______-)

Don't be like that haha. :) I just wanna try something different and ... y'know, FREE.

Like, no need to call everyday and waste credit. -_- don't need to keep texting. Don't even need to talk. But just.. like.. kissing and shit?

I know it sounds real disgusting okay! But at least I'm out about it! o:

Sigh. Fine. You want the truth?

I miss her, okay?

God Bless The Broken Road

Yes, it is a very relaxing song. One of my favorite's.

I'm not really... how to put this, in a mood right now... I have a headache and... she's not... like, replying...

I mean, she hasn't replied since yesterday. Though she posted random shiz on my facebook wall... You can't help but miss the person you, like... you know?

And I miss her alot... Sighhh.

Besides that, um, what has been going on? Oh yes. Exams are next Friday. Crap. Ugh. I hate exams. I mean, who doesn't? It's a bullshitty game. :\ A test that doesn't even make sense half the time. I mean, sure, we might remember those things now but it's not like we're ALL gonna grow up to be a historian (whut) engineer (pfst) or like, a teacher or something. So what's the point in learning all these and getting tested for it?

It's pointless.

Great. Listening to one of the most hurtful songs ever.

What Hurts The Most

You know what's agonizing?

Listening to your current crush playing a song that you used to listen to everyday when you were in love with your FIRST crush.

Yeah.

Bullshit.

I don't know.

Lately, it's been getting really confusing for me. I'm getting mood-swings. I'm getting all groggy. And what's worse, I feel like everything I do just pulls me even further apart from reality.

I'm tired of living in my dreams.

Running away from Reality.

But recently, it feels like reality's running away from me.

It's hard to explain. Almost impossible.

I look fine.

But I'm dying inside.

I know it sounds melodramatic.

I know that... I'm just being a drama queen and that nothing is actually going to end. And that, I'm not going to die and shit.

But who am I kidding?

I'm 13. Wait no, I'm 12. I'm not even thirteen yet.

An E in my paper is already a hysterical scream.

A person not liking me back is like a stab to my chest.

You know what I think,

A song can actually break someone's heart and penetrate the soul. It sucks.

Fall for you is one of those songs.

It hurts so much. Yet I torture myself with it now. Why? Because I wanna feel pain? Because I want attention?

I should get over it.

It's just a song.

Just a song...

A song is able to connect to the heart.

She was the one that changed me, you know. She was the one that changed everything. She was the one that made me me. It's not like I knew I was going to be different when I was Primary 3. It just happened. I just fell. I fell harder than anyone has ever fallen.

And I can't even say that I've gotten over her.

She's not my type.

Yet there's this lingering feeling that I can feel that keeps coming back to bite me in the ass.

It hurts but.

"A girl like you is impossible to find."

What About Tomorrow - Lyrics

What about tomorrow. It feels like it's gone.

Away from the storm. But close to the end.

What about next year? Is it suppose to come,

Or am I suppose to quit and run?

Nothing makes sense anymore. Life is not easy.

She makes it feel as if everything's falling.

Now that I'm clear. About the things I feel.

Oh God, please make my fairytale real...

Falling off power, dropping in pain,

You make me feel so whole but insane,

Slipping from you, drifting apart,

Something is stuck inside my heart.

My own dreams are fading away,

Don't worry, I'm running, I'm gonna catch them back again.

In time, though wondering, I'll find out who I gained

and who I lost.

What about Friday? It's meant to be fun.

It's meant to be smiles and some chases under the sun.

What about you and I. Are we still this thing?

Cause something's stopping us from making this real.

Tell me you want me. And this will be fine.

Tell me you need me. Say that you're mine.

A battle of heroes. That fall to their knees.

My heart is locked and only you got the keys....

Falling off power, dropping in pain,

You make me feel so whole but insane,

Slipping from you, drifting apart,

Something is stuck inside my heart.

My own dreams are fading away,

Don't worry, I'm running, I'm gonna catch them back again.

In time, though wondering, I'll find out who I gained

and who I lost.

This thing I'm feeling now is not like any other.

Something deep inside my heart.

I just can't see anyone else when you're there.

They try to pull me apart.

But no.

What about tomorrow...

Falling off power, dropping in pain,

You make me feel so whole but insane,

Slipping from you, drifting apart,

Something is stuck inside my heart.

My own dreams are fading away,

Don't worry, I'm running, I'm gonna catch them back again.

In time, though wondering, I'll find out who I gained

and who I lost.

Lauren Cimorelli

I. Love. Her. So. Much.

Scarily.

Haha.

Okay, so I stumbled upon the Cimorelli's cover of Skyscraper a few days ago and I totally fell in love with them! Seriously :)

Well actually, I kinda fell in love with one after that.

LAUREN. CIMORELLI. I. LOVE. YOU. <3

I literally wrote a song for her o:

I feel so obsessive LOL. xD

So.. yeah :)

I LOVE YOU LAUREN CIMORELLI.

Don't Bother

I'm Overboard,

... and I need your love, pull me up, I can't swim on my own. It's too much, I feel like I'm drowning without your love.




HAHA. Am I gonna start all of posts with a certain song lyric? Hopefully not. It gets annoying... Or does it?


Moving on :)


For all my readers out there who LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT, PLEASE, i beg you, PLEASE sign this petition and have her come down to Malaysia so that I can see her concert! PLEASE!! <3


http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/tayswiftmsia


You don't even have to be a fan!! Just for a kid. A kid's dream! PLEASE :3

I want her to come here SO BADLY. She is my Idol!! SERIOUSLY.




TEAM SWIFT FOREVER <3


<3
<3
<3


HAH. that isnt the only thing I have to say. sadly. xD


Nawww. Ummmm. So I was thinking about it and... maybe it's about time I get serious bout my career you know. People are always talking about college and jobs and shit. And I know I'm just 13. I should be worrying about PMR and ... SAT's. But if I wanna be a famous star, I have to start off early.


Look at Justin Bieber! He started EVERYTHING when he was 12. And it took him FOUR years to reach the BIG BIG BIG time.


So.... Maybe I should start now. And in four or five years time, I'll finally be able to prance around stage with a leotard without people bullying my ass. :p

I'm kidding. That would be weird.

But yeah. What do you guys think?

I mean, I know I'm not the best singer... And I'm probably not the best actor or PERSON in general to begin with but... maybe, as I grow older, I'll start... progressing.


I want to make this happen.




This is my DREAM.

You Shouldv'e Said No,

You shouldv'e gone home. You shouldv'e thought twice before you let it all go...



TAYLOR SWIFT, I LOVE YOU! <3


I'm so awesome :D HAHA. sorry. okay, moving on.


So how is Awesome Infinity? Pff, Awesome Infinity is awesome, duh. A.I. is just dealing with a little stress with the person he likes is all. And maybe... a little bit of confusion.


Again.

Freaking confusion again.


Ughhh.


Yeah anyway...


What's up with you? Any comments, reviews, rants and all to post on my blog? I'm kidding, don't do that.


That'd be weird.

O:


LOL. Moving on.

Have you realized that lately, Bieber's been totally off the charts. None of his songs have been playing on the radios nowadays and songs like "Pumped Up Kicks" are playing.


No offense. But even I prefer Bieber rather than songs like that. I mean. I don't understand them. Not only can I barely hear the lyrics, but even the beat's all messed up. I mean, aren't songs about connecting to the soul? Or dancing...? Maybe?

Yeaaah ugh. :\

AND WHEN IS TAYLOR SWIFT GONNA MAKE HER COMEBACK ALBUM?!?!?

UGHH I NEED TAYLOR SWIFT SONGSSSSS!! <3






THE ONLY STAR I SEEEEEEEEEEE


I'm so lame :p



-Kyle.

You know,

I was thinking about it today.




Even though I totally squeal when I think about her or say her name or whatnot... I'm not technically jealous whenever I see him come into the picture. I mean, I know they're dating. That day when I found out. I wish I could delete that. But I can't.

Anyway.


Even with him in the picture, I don't feel profoundly jealous.



Honestly, I don't know what I feel towards her. Is it like... LIKE like or just mere adoration? As in, do I LIKE her or do I just look up to her as a role model?


I kinda crossed out that second opinion because COME ON. You don't imagine yourself WITH your role model, do you? You don't WANT her badly. Yeah. Cause I do.


Sigh. I do not know. Confusionnnnn.



Yeaah. But besides that, my life has been pretty clean lately. Clean meaning... not much dirt to dish on people. Though even if I did, that'd be a bit petty considering... well... I'd be no better than the person I'm dishing on.



Oh. And while sorting out that whole 'do I like her or adoration' shit. I realized something..






I wanna DATE again.

Quotes of the Day ~

~"The truth make everything else seem like a lie."

~"Sometimes you're gonna have to do things for your kids that you regret now but miss later when they grow up."

~"Have you noticed that sometimes when you dream something bad happens to the people you love? Honestly, it's to prepare yourself for any situation so that you can save them."

~"The reason I always talk so complicatingly difficult to you, is because I'm afraid I'll say something simple and stupid to you and you'll just think I'm an idiot."

So, how is life?

Because mine is HORRIBLE.


Kidding. :D

Guess what. I got new news. ;)

I GOT OVER APPLE!

WOOO!
YEAHHH!
UH-HUHHH!


actually... that's not really true. :\

it lessened, to say the least. I like her less now... you know... she doesn't really give a shit about me so... yeah. and i keep catching her staring at my friend... maybe she likes her! PFF.

Yeah... but i dont know.

I got tired.

Now...

There's someone new.

-shot-


HEY YOU CAN'T BLAME MY FEELINGS..

It all started a few days ago.. I can't tell you the story or it'll get too obvious. My blog IS public, after all. Anyway.

I guess you can say I like someone else now. (:

Seriously though, I think this one is ... bad because I've never liked anyone this much as I've liked her except APPLE.

AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING.


I nicknamed her JUNE. CAUSE SHE RAWKS. WOOP.

I'm so weird.





But yeah. :) She's great... SERIOUSLY. GREAT. AWESOME. EPIC. PEACOCK. THAT DID NOT MAKE SENSE. MOVING ON.


TOMORROW I GOT A FCKIN PERFORMANCE IN FRONT OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE! SHITTTT.


AND MOST OF THOSE PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE HOT PEOPLE.



DOUBLE SHITTTT!!


-.-


well this sucks... and is rather uncomfortable.

oh wellz ~ :)

i can impress -AHEMCOUGHCOUGH- JUNEEEE.


and Apple.

YES I STILL LIKE HER.


i"ve just... given up :\


So yeah, that's basically it :)


BYE YEAH.



-Kyle

Excuses

Surely I have an excuse for not updating.

Mildly.

Went to my hometown, Keningau, a few days ago. Ahh. At first, I have to admit, I never actually liked going back to my hometown. :( I'm the shy type of person, so I don't mix in with my cousins that well. Especially since they're all guys... Awkward~

I mix in better with females ;)

Plus, my sissy ain't here anymore. At least last year when I went back, I could talk to her. But this time, she's in Melb so I'm just like... the black sheep. So awkward. Oh well. At least I have mumzie.

But now, um, to be honest I don't mind going there. :) One, because practically half of us wear normal clothes to the kubur (graveyard) to pray for me granddad. I do not personally know him, considering I have never met him before. Or at least, I was too young to remember. So I guess you can say, it's pretty much awkward for me.

But I'm okay now, I guess. Haha.

The Hari Raya party was fine. I was alone watching tv for the first few minutes. But after half an hour or so, Sara, a cousin and a close friend, joined me with her family. We watched 2012. Holy FUCK, that movie got me creepily paranoid. :o

Next year...

NAWW. I BELIEVE IN GOD'S POWER! <3 <3

Moving on ;)

after that, we chit-chatted because i'm currently kinda ignoring a friend. my mum says she's a bad influence so I have to stay away from her. I told Sara and her sister about it and they gave me very inspirational tips.

Then Sara and I got into a heated discussion about some inspirational stuff and she said I was mature :D

But that's also bad, because most kids my age are still not-fully-matured. So it's hard for me to fit in with my group of friends.

Then after that, I helped my Aunt clean EVERY THING. And that's saying something because the party was basically huge :\ And I literally helped with everything. I brought plates and pots and pans and trays and drinks back to the kitchen, practically sprained my wrist in the process, cleaned the dishes (woo!) and put everything back in place.

I didn't know why. I was in an absolute cleaning mood xD Maybe it was because I just needed to get something done yea. :)

But finally, everything was done and I went to bed somewhere around 1.30 AM.

Then the next afternoon we came back home.

Sara's inspirational talk really got me thinking. And now I guess, I matured even more.

And then I ALSO realized that night, that I fit in better with a more MATURE crowd xD

but that's hard.

cause that means I need older friends.

... Where can I find older friends?

YEAH THAT'S IT I GUESS :)

OH and head's up, I reactivated my facebook account. :) why? cause I saw that Apple posted some new pictures and I HAD to go and like them.

Seriously though, when I saw them, I flipped. For some reason, she looked even MORE gorgeous now.

It's funny... Ever since a few days ago, I promised myself I won't say "I LOVE YOU" until I'm totally sure I mean it.

Apple is a case like that.

I don't know, y'know.

Is this love or is what I feel towards her just a 'phase'?

Who else has the power to revive me from the dead?

I promised myself not to reactivate my account until Sunday. I had no reason whatsoever to reactivate it anyway. But then I saw her pictures, her beautiful, amazing, goddess-like, unimaginably gorgeous pictures, and instantly I knew that this isn't a mere crush.

I was giggling and jumping around like an idiot.

My chest was all warm.

This can't be a mere crush. It's more than that. I'm sure of it.

I'm not certain. I'm never certain. So I will NOT admit that this is Love. Cause I'm not gonna take my chances wasting more 'I love you's' anymore. So for now, I'm just going to say that she is... unlike anyone, anything, I have

EVER

SEEN

IN MY ENTIRE

LIFE.

-Kyle

The Truth

Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and Mom was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? And we couldn’t wait to grow up?