Excuses

Surely I have an excuse for not updating.

Mildly.

Went to my hometown, Keningau, a few days ago. Ahh. At first, I have to admit, I never actually liked going back to my hometown. :( I'm the shy type of person, so I don't mix in with my cousins that well. Especially since they're all guys... Awkward~

I mix in better with females ;)

Plus, my sissy ain't here anymore. At least last year when I went back, I could talk to her. But this time, she's in Melb so I'm just like... the black sheep. So awkward. Oh well. At least I have mumzie.

But now, um, to be honest I don't mind going there. :) One, because practically half of us wear normal clothes to the kubur (graveyard) to pray for me granddad. I do not personally know him, considering I have never met him before. Or at least, I was too young to remember. So I guess you can say, it's pretty much awkward for me.

But I'm okay now, I guess. Haha.

The Hari Raya party was fine. I was alone watching tv for the first few minutes. But after half an hour or so, Sara, a cousin and a close friend, joined me with her family. We watched 2012. Holy FUCK, that movie got me creepily paranoid. :o

Next year...

NAWW. I BELIEVE IN GOD'S POWER! <3 <3

Moving on ;)

after that, we chit-chatted because i'm currently kinda ignoring a friend. my mum says she's a bad influence so I have to stay away from her. I told Sara and her sister about it and they gave me very inspirational tips.

Then Sara and I got into a heated discussion about some inspirational stuff and she said I was mature :D

But that's also bad, because most kids my age are still not-fully-matured. So it's hard for me to fit in with my group of friends.

Then after that, I helped my Aunt clean EVERY THING. And that's saying something because the party was basically huge :\ And I literally helped with everything. I brought plates and pots and pans and trays and drinks back to the kitchen, practically sprained my wrist in the process, cleaned the dishes (woo!) and put everything back in place.

I didn't know why. I was in an absolute cleaning mood xD Maybe it was because I just needed to get something done yea. :)

But finally, everything was done and I went to bed somewhere around 1.30 AM.

Then the next afternoon we came back home.

Sara's inspirational talk really got me thinking. And now I guess, I matured even more.

And then I ALSO realized that night, that I fit in better with a more MATURE crowd xD

but that's hard.

cause that means I need older friends.

... Where can I find older friends?

YEAH THAT'S IT I GUESS :)

OH and head's up, I reactivated my facebook account. :) why? cause I saw that Apple posted some new pictures and I HAD to go and like them.

Seriously though, when I saw them, I flipped. For some reason, she looked even MORE gorgeous now.

It's funny... Ever since a few days ago, I promised myself I won't say "I LOVE YOU" until I'm totally sure I mean it.

Apple is a case like that.

I don't know, y'know.

Is this love or is what I feel towards her just a 'phase'?

Who else has the power to revive me from the dead?

I promised myself not to reactivate my account until Sunday. I had no reason whatsoever to reactivate it anyway. But then I saw her pictures, her beautiful, amazing, goddess-like, unimaginably gorgeous pictures, and instantly I knew that this isn't a mere crush.

I was giggling and jumping around like an idiot.

My chest was all warm.

This can't be a mere crush. It's more than that. I'm sure of it.

I'm not certain. I'm never certain. So I will NOT admit that this is Love. Cause I'm not gonna take my chances wasting more 'I love you's' anymore. So for now, I'm just going to say that she is... unlike anyone, anything, I have

EVER

SEEN

IN MY ENTIRE

LIFE.

-Kyle

The Truth

Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and Mom was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? And we couldn’t wait to grow up?

Quotes of the Day ~

~"I've been so busy wondering what people thought of me, I didn't stop to wonder what I thought of myself."

~"We're so busy living life as a fairytale. We forget the joys of reality."

~"Everyone young is saying "I love him" or "I love her'. Grow up, youth does not concentrate on love just yet. The next time you say something like that, I'll smile and say "I love my dad/mum too!""

Maybe Even More So

Sigh.


Where to begin?

Ah yes.

School's being bullshitty. :\ I mean, who likes exams to begin with?! With my knowledge on the general things they put on those sheets of paper, I'll most probably get an E. And that E is NOT for Excellent.

Sigh again. Whatever. I guess you can say my life is pretty messed up. But i'm enjoying it. ;)


I love my life <3 I wouldn't ask for anything more or anything less. This is what God gave me and I'm walking round' the streets with my chest held high~

Actually, that'd be weird.


Moving on. :p

I got my Old phone back!! YEAH. xD It got confiscated somewhere around April. And now, I got it back. :) I 'm able to listen to my old songs and remember the lyrics again ~ :D So that's a plus. And the old notes I wrote, wow, I improved by a gorilla.

Okay, that didn't make sense. My apologies.

Besides that, I've been doing sit-ups and push-ups and other exercises nowadays. :) I need a nice tummy. And I need nice arms. LOL. I sound weird. But seriously. I wanna get in shape. :\ I realized that I'm not fat, maybe a tad overweight, but I'm not in good shape either. I need to toughen up a bit.

So far, I can only do like 5 push ups xD But sit-ups is like 20... I do, like, 40 times a day. I hope that's enough. My stomach hurts.

I'm not gonna make this long. Just an update on my days and shit. :)

Tomorrow, imma going out with my all-so-awesome friends yea ;) Madel, Evelyn and Hannah. Well, Evel and Hannah, I don't think confirmed yet.

I need a girlfriend. :|

I'm desperate.

Seriously.

Really desperate.

Shit.

Help me.

FUCK. xD


PEACE, NIGS.

-Kyle